Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Got leads?

Being descriptive in articles is a hallmark to which any good journalist would aspire. There is a point, however, where written imagery goes a bit too far and falls off the deep end. Editors, grab your red pen.

From the grab bag of really bad leads, there’s a Post Star article on news stands Wednesday, where the reporter somehow melds the imagery of gasoline and ice cream dribbling down someone’s chin. That’s a bit much for any reader to swallow in a first graph, pun intended.

Not to mention, writing about “melt-in-your-mouth” ice cream in an article solely devoted to prize-winning milk is a bit ludicrous, even when discussing Stewart’s Shops recent coup at the state Fair. On a side note, the writer could have made the correlation between good milk and good ice cream, which would have made all the hard-thought-out description a bit more plausible.

But frankly, it’s a bit safer to ditch the ice cream allusion and instead stick with a description of Stewart’s that most people are used to: unsightly brick shops on every street corner of the Capital Region where somewhat dodgy people hang out smoking cigarettes and scratching off lottery tickets.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re: Stewarts Shops--you nailed the look and feel of these ugly and ubiquitous stores! Would it be asking too much of Stewarts to put some thought into the style and design of these stores? Too bad there isn't a reality show for retail store make-overs, I would nominate Stewarts faster than it takes to scratch off a losing lottery ticket. I don't think it would take much imagination or money to make them more appealing.

10:08 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Stewart's chili is made out of ground up human! Beware!

4:04 AM  

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