In the first case, the reporter was able to peg the visceral “spinner” experience Sunday with a catchy lead that featured a toddler bounced a few too many times on his auntee’s leg during a family picnic at the track. The result was a shirt full of spreadable baby chum fresh from the gullet.
Fear not readers, the New York Racing Association came to the rescue. Fortunately for the aunt, Sunday was the big sweatshop-T-shirt giveaway day. And as luck would have it, the spinners weren’t biting like they do during the bobblehead freebie.
Strangely enough, while other newspapers continue to marvel over the strange folks that like to stockpile gate-padding enticements, the reporter managed to effectively sum up the true spirit of a giveaway day in the first few graphs; a perfectly vomitous occasion.
But the fun doesn’t stop here with the Spa City’s hometown dribble. The reporter shifted gears Monday and wrote about the other chute of the GI track in Today’s paper. Ever wonder how much horse shit it would take to cover a 17 football fields? Well, your wait is over. Each year, the horses at the track produce enough crap to spread a two foot layer over this number of fields, according to the Saratogian report.
One can’t fault the paper too much for such reporting. The later attempt at least brings something new and unreported to the table –albeit inherently shitty –unlike the usual two-weeks-into-the-season forecasting ventured by other papers. And the truth is it’s difficult to pluck engaging front-page stories that don’t seem regurgitated from last year’s coverage.