Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Personal matters

As a reporter, you know covering racing season has become a bit drab when you can boast consecutive articles focusing on baby barf and horse shit. Such was the case with one longtime writer with the Saratogian, a paper that ironically evokes a certain sense of gut wrenching and bowel churning itself.

In the first case, the reporter was able to peg the visceral “spinner” experience Sunday with a catchy lead that featured a toddler bounced a few too many times on his auntee’s leg during a family picnic at the track. The result was a shirt full of spreadable baby chum fresh from the gullet.

Fear not readers, the New York Racing Association came to the rescue. Fortunately for the aunt, Sunday was the big sweatshop-T-shirt giveaway day. And as luck would have it, the spinners weren’t biting like they do during the bobblehead freebie.

Strangely enough, while other newspapers continue to marvel over the strange folks that like to stockpile gate-padding enticements, the reporter managed to effectively sum up the true spirit of a giveaway day in the first few graphs; a perfectly vomitous occasion.

But the fun doesn’t stop here with the Spa City’s hometown dribble. The reporter shifted gears Monday and wrote about the other chute of the GI track in Today’s paper. Ever wonder how much horse shit it would take to cover a 17 football fields? Well, your wait is over. Each year, the horses at the track produce enough crap to spread a two foot layer over this number of fields, according to the Saratogian report.

One can’t fault the paper too much for such reporting. The later attempt at least brings something new and unreported to the table –albeit inherently shitty –unlike the usual two-weeks-into-the-season forecasting ventured by other papers. And the truth is it’s difficult to pluck engaging front-page stories that don’t seem regurgitated from last year’s coverage.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Kudos to Jim,
Now he is pushing the boundaries! Jim is Jim - one of a kind but he keeps pluging away at it... is not that offensive, very friendly, and he has a different outlook - not a fan of bagpipes (Sunday's Schuylerville Parade)... but he is reliable.... so kudos to Jim for sticking with it!

9:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Christ, with such intrepid reporting, I am surprised they didn't tackle the question of how many urinal cakes melt away each track season. Or maybe they are saving that for next year? But seriously, how can you spoof something that is completely ridiculous like the Saratogian. It's like imitating the retarded kid.

4:03 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

The Gazette dissed the scumbag owners of The Saratogian big-time over their profiting from towing cars from their lot in violation of an agreement with the city.

Hopefully, you'll post about that soon.

5:20 PM  
Blogger Horatio Alger said...

It's funny you mention that...I was working on just that subject yesterday when this nastly little thing called a job decided to beckon. Stay tuned...

As for the previous comment, I've got to admitt, you're right on the mark. And I thought about that while I was writing the post. But hey, now and then and amongst friends, it's okay mimic some of the peculiar sound that retarded kids is making.

7:18 AM  

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