Friday, November 17, 2006

Cold relief in a 16 oz. glass

With Friday’s happy-hour beer on ice across the region, take a moment to consider stop off at Clancy’s Geyser Sports Pub Geyser Road on the way home to imbibe in a quick libation. Yes, the beer here is ice cold and the drinks cheaper than at any watering hole along the Spa City’s bourbon strip.

And if you do stop by, don’t get agitated if it takes few minutes to get a drink. After all, the bar is a bit short staffed today.

So instead of rolling your eyes or tapping your foot, contemplate the poor bastard who’s now locked in county jail, embroiled in a criminal court case just because he chose to crash at the wrong trailer in the wrong trailer park at the wrong time. Then once you’ve been served a brimming pint of cheap swill, pluck a crisp Hamilton from your pocket, slap it on the bar and demand that any remaining change go toward springing the wayward Justin Ure from the clink.

True, blackouts are indicative of a pretty solid drinking habit, which might be why the Milton Town Justice set bail at $1,000 cash. Still, that’s an awful lot of money to come up with for a 25-year-old living in a trailer park and now facing misdemeanor charges.

See, after four days of intensive investigation and three days of mulling the case, Saratoga County Sheriff’s investigators believe that Ure knowingly entered or remained unlawfully in a dwelling. Yet Ure apparently doesn’t remember ever entering the home or depositing a fair amount of his hemoglobin everywhere. It could be argued that he remained their unlawfully, but then again, nobody told him to get out. As Sheriff James Bowen put it, “he left on his own power” in the morning.

Still unclear is how much damage was left in wake of the unlawful overnight stay, but it highly doubtful that the drunken man’s leaky cranium cost the homeowner anywhere near to $1,000 it will cost him to get out of jail. Such a cost could likely be worked out between the two parties involved, seeing as though the only thing hurt in the whole case was the pride of the cops who took four days to figure out they had no crime at all. And that’s probably the main reason Ure now finds himself in jail.

So grab a cold one at the Geyser Sports Pub and throw a handful of dollars to the Ure relief fund –not to be confused with the Err relief fund –and free the man who had a bit too good of a night go remarkably bad.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Horatio,

If I had it to do it all over again, I still would have drank that much. The was one enchanted evening! Did you even know that King Cobra Malt Liquor made a Winter Solstice seasonal ale? Just the right amount of spices mixed in! Any luck with finding those keys? And a bit of advice to the trailer owner: Love My Carpet works like a charm.

-Massive Headwound Harry

3:02 AM  

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