Chi-Town blues

It looks like bad news for urban stoops and malt liquor aficianados around the Windy City Thursday. With mid-day highs expected in the 80s, it looks like Chicago could be facing a shortage of the popularly brown-bagged beverage this weekend, as a massive shipment from the east appears to be delayed.

So what does this have to do with the Capital Region? Well, a Rotterdam Junction-bound Guilford Transporation Co. freightliner derailed in the town of Stillwater Wednesday evening, sending 15 cars off the tracks near the DeCresente distribution center. Listed on the cargo manifest were four boxcars worth of malt liquor bound for Chicago and California, The Daily Gazette reported Thursday.

Apparently, the cars hopped the tracks but never tipped over as the train reached a switch in the lines. Emergency officials decided to wait until this morning to right the displaced cars because the train didn’t contain any hazardous or toxic materials. However, this assessment could be contested by anybody who’s ran afoul with a deep malt liquor buzz. As most people who have submitted themselves to a solid evening of pounding 40 oz. bottles of Colt 45 or Big Bear could attest, malt liquor is anything but innocuous.

So if you happen to be a brown-bagger from the South Side or Wrigleyville, hit the local Xtra-Mart a bit earlier than normal this afternoon. There could be some lines.

And if you happen to be skulking around the tracks in Stillwater with a hankering for malt liquor, swing by West Avenue. Who knows, there may be some discount 40s on sale. Just make sure you open them slowly.