Fools and their money quickly parted

Take a good look at these people. Any one of them could be the first person to go after Steve Jobs with a meat cleaver. Note to Capital Region police agencies: keep this photo on file, just in case Jobs’ lifeless body is found bobbing down the Hudson.

For those who haven’t heard, Jobs pulled perhaps the largest fast one on the general public since David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear more than two decades ago. With a smiling face and a new parade of iToys, Apple’s founder extended his middle finger to all the crazed people that bought his iPhone in June, and then announced his company would knock $200 off the sticker price.

This has got to be a frustrating development for the droves of rubes that spent hours waiting on long lines to pay nearly $600 for the cell phone on steroids. Yes, Jobs pulled a fast one alright. Sure, everyone expects new technology to drop $100 or so within their first year on the market. But $200 in just two months is virtually unheard of, especially for a company like Apple.

On a curious side note, it’s possible the Times Union may have fallen into this trap. The paper recently did a baby boomer versus Generation Xer review of the new technology using a pair of feature reporters. The video is a humorous watch, especially when the elder writer is described as someone who “only recently became comfortable using a touch-tone phone.” Although there’s a good chance the paper received the phones as a free trial through Apple, it would be interesting to know that the Hearst Corporation got bilked by Jobs, just like the rest of the poor schmucks that bought into this huckster’s song and dance.

Undoubtedly, Apple scored the lottery jackpot with their ruse. They pumped the market full of hot air for more than six months and then unleashed a product they probably produce for about $50 and sells for 12 times its value. Consumers, with particular regard to those in the United States, are instant gratification fanatics. Increasingly, they’re not happy with waiting unless it’s on a long line for days to purchase the aforementioned product. The more fervor a corporation can whip into the public, the more freaks that will turnout for the grand release.

With the help of Jobs, the craze that started with Cabbage Patch dolls in the 80s, moved onto Tickle-Me-Elmo toys in the 90s and more recently materialized in the Sony PlayStation 3 madness last year has now made the jump to consumer electronics. Despite looking foolish and spending more money than most people make in a week, the American consumer is all the willing to play the fool when it comes to these marketing gimmicks.

But Jobs might have pushed his toe over the line with this gig. People are pissed; real pissed. The uber-chic, who for two months toted their iPhones as a quasi status symbol, can now look forward to seeing common folk with this status symbol. Apple’s stock prices tumbled with Wednesday’s announcement, as hundreds of wealthy stock brokers realized their new, sleek-looking iPhones aren’t likely to get them laid anymore out at the bars.