Italian stallion

How would you describe David Zecchini? Too rich, pompous windbag, hyper-Italian freak with so much money he can hire a videographer to film self-ingratiating cybertrash about his success? If you gave any of these answers, give yourself a pat on the back.

Zecchini, the owner of a homogeneous gaggle of “authentic Italian” restaurants spanning from North to South Broadway, has recently released a sort of infomercial into cyberspace, in an apparent new-age advertising campaign for his business. He apparently hired an Albany-based startup company named eXposure to film a solid 12 minutes of what no other news agency or self-respecting artist would.

Self promotion is one thing. Advertising your livelihood is another. But the purely audacious tone taken in this flick is just about enough to make one gag, which is sort of counterproductive if the point of the piece was to bring in new customers to Zecchini’s eateries. Sure he’s successful; in fact, it’s difficult to be within one square mile of the fellow and not realize this. However, paying a shill to broadcast this message across cyberspace is way over the top for even Saratoga’s plutocracy.

This footage has been unceremoniously dumped into the flotsam and jetsam of the World Wide Web in an attempt carve out a reputation for Zecchini, who is otherwise know about the city as the man with a super-sized ego who throws money at things. The company he chose to film this masterpiece offers a “new and exciting way to advertise in the Capital Region and the North East.”

For those who might find this type of pandering too painful to watch –and it is quite painful –here’s a brief synopsis: the camera follows Zecchini as he whisks into one of his restaurants, loudly humming what one could assume is an old-world tune. Donning a pair of shades during evening service at Chianti, he fires off a quick sputter of Italian before hugging and kissing everyone in his path. After three or four minutes of day-in-the-life footage, a leather-coat bound kid-faced narrator introduces his subject.

“There are many ways to describe David Zecchini, mmm’kay,” he says, seated next to Zecchini in what appears to be the man’s posh modern-style home. “Restaurateur, playboy, visionary…”

Zecchini chimes in with a playful laugh.

“…Aggressive businessman,” the narrator continues. “But how do you describe yourself?”

Someone with far too much money should be his answer. The largest advertising package offered by the company boasts a four-minute commercial and Web hosting for a paltry $5,000 and an additional $99.99 per-month fee. One could only imagine what Zecchini paid or did for his solid 12-minute “webmercial” and a nice slot on eXpose café home page.

But Zecchini shouldn’t have to worry about money anytime soon. Aside from the fact that he throws around more money in a week than most people make in a year, he also happens to be engaged to the 20-something Riggi heiress, the same woman who happens to live in a recently erected castle several blocks down North Broadway. The daughter apparently met Zecchini, only a few years estranged from his wife, while working as a pastry chef in one of his kitchens. Won’t mom and pop be happy to know she’s wedding a self-professed Italian playboy.