Swing for the stands

Hank Aaron knew a lot about slumps. Despite holding the home run record for more than four decades, the Hall of Fame baseball player had his fair share of games where he simply couldn’t seem to get around the bases. So he had a simple philosophy when it came to breaking out of a funk: Keep swinging.

“Whether I was in a slump or feeling badly or having trouble off the field, the only thing to do was keep swinging,” he once said.

No doubt, the editorial crew at iSaratoga has undergone its own slump over the past three weeks. So much of a slump that some have even forecasted an untimely demise of this never-ending exercise in free speech.

Now you’re probably saying ‘Slump? Are you kidding Horatio? You haven’t posted once in December. This is no ordinary slump.’ True. Very true. In fact, never has there been such a long absence of posts in all of iSaratoga’s nearly three years of publication. And there’s no silver-bullet reason that would explain any of this. Part of it has to do with lethargy; some pertains to ill-timed consumption of Johnny Walker; others the general condition of life in this grand union of ours. It’s a bit hard to be cynical when the fabric of this great American tapestry is unraveling –or maybe even has unraveled.

Still, this is no time for cocktails and tears. After all, the salinity does nothing for the after bite of a good smoky scotch. So batter up, let’s swing for the stands and swing often. One of these cuts is bound to yield something other than a goose-egg.

Leading off, the Saratogian’s new Web design has added a nifty feature some other area papers have capitalized on. Aside from being more comprehensive, the site now includes a side box that allows readers to navigate the most read stories and those that have elicited comments. The Post-Star employed a similar tactic several years ago and has seen their comments balloon as a result.

Of course, the number of comments never ensures they’re worth reading. But occasionally, they make for a hell of a read. When South Corinthian Michael DiGioacchino announced he’d challenge relic Jim Bowen for Saratoga County Sheriff next year, the coverage in the Saratogian roused a few people that painted a less than endearing picture of the prospective Republican candidate.

Apparently, DiGioacchino’s wife found herself embroiled in a quasi-road rage incident with a fellow motorist. But instead of calling 911, she called her husband, a member of the Schenectady County Sheriff’s Department, who was nearby at the time. DiGioacchino confronted the motorist –who later turned out to be a neighbor –and at least identified himself as a cop. The authorities were contacted after a heated exchange between the candidate and the offending motorist, but no arrests were made.

The dispute is relatively trivial with the exception that DiGioacchino chimed into the comment section himself to weigh in on the matter. Granted, he did so in a very tactful manner. However, it’s a bit odd for a candidate to go on the defensive online with an anonymous poster just days after he announced his candidacy. Of course, when a candidate shows up to a press conference looking like Eliot Ness and then comes off as a vigilante the next week, it’s probably best to nip that one in the bud.

But the sheriff’s challenger isn’t the only one to grab attention in the online comments section. The widow of Michael Arpey –the drunk driver who killed a popular Saratoga High School football player last spring –seemed to swat the online hornet’s nest when she decided to sue the two bars that fed her hubby drinks prior to his wreck.

Unfortunately, the Saratogian reporter really didn’t investigate the lawsuit very thoroughly, or contact any of the victims in the case. In fact, the reporter didn’t even bother to call the attorneys listed for the plaintiff and defendant, the owners of the City Tavern and the poorly named It’s Confidential, or Jummel’s as the locals once called it.

Obviously, the widow Arpey or the ambulance chaser that put her up to the lawsuit didn’t think it through too well, seeing as though it was her husband who made the semi-conscious decision to get behind the wheel after a night of boozing. It’s unlikely the barkeeps at either establishment poured this bibulous man into his truck and then put it into gear for him to swerve home; or in this case, into a poor kid simply trying to make it home after visiting a friend. But let’s not digress.

Those commenting on the article roundly miss its dramatic shortcomings and instead broadly castigate the widow for her frivolous suit. This was countered by someone ‘in the know’ who suggested the widow would do something altruistic with whatever settlement she feels is due. Another less rational person suggested that all bartenders in the downtown region “are poorly educated;” a statement which this humble moderator takes issue with.

When it comes to smarts, folks don’t get much smarter than the standard bartender. Try juggling a few dozen cocktail orders in your head, along with their price and the ingredients, while some jackass blathers on about his ‘killer’ day at work. Then add in a cute blond flashing the ‘do-me’ face at the end of a three-deep bar, and you’ve got a profession that takes more know-how and savvy than your standard rocket scientist. The ignorance of some is simply astounding.

Moving on today, there’s word that the city’s talk with the police hasn’t brought them any closer to reaching a contract. That on top of the dilapidated station has caused morale to plummet, according to PBA President Ed Lewis. Morale has declined so much that the PBA negotiating team simply can’t bring themselves to meet with the city the day before Christmas eve.

“That’s two days before Christmas, so I figured we’ll wait until after the holidays,” he told the Saratogian Wednesday.

Now let’s stop here for a minute. Cops typically speak a similar, but different English than the vernacular. Words like ‘transport’ are used instead of ‘taking,’ or ‘lacerations’ instead of ‘cuts’ and so on. So in translation, by ‘wait until after the holidays’ Lewis means ‘all of us not making overtime have off until New Years’ Eve and there’s lots of wassail to drink,’ both of which are clearly more important than working out a contract. Cheers guys!

City residents can at least revel in the thought that Public Safety Lapdog Ron Kim won’t be negotiating this contract. Mayor Scott Johnson has hired a private attorney at $250 an hour to represent the city in the talks, if they ever happen. While this might sound like a lot to be shelling out for something a sitting commissioner should technically be doing, it’s for the best. At least now, the city will have someone who might argue for concessions in the contract, rather than opening up the coffers for the thieves in blue.

Well, that’s about all the swinging this hammer has in it for the day. Hopefully, a few of those pitches reached the warning track. And hopefully this will satiate the dwindling masses of iSaratoga’s regular readership until this humble moderator can pull his cranium out of the holly.