Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Tuna Fishing

They think we’re stupid. That’s the only explanation for the rumored candidates the city’s Democratic Committee is putting forward. Some of the more ardent critics might take this a step further and say ‘they think we’re fucking stupid,’ but why go overboard?

Party insiders are whispering the name Valerie Keehn as the Dems’ choice to face incumbent Republican Scott Johnson for the mayor’s seat. The former mayor interviewed with the committee and could be named as the challenger any day, according to sources.

The reasoning behind running the woman often considered the worst mayor the city had seen in decades is simple: The so-called McTygue faction was beaten out of the party in September, ushering in a new era of rule by the so-called Democrats For Change, a group hopelessly beholden to the politics of diehard Keehn ally Shawn Thompson.

The discordant members who pulled for Johnson as a vote against Keehn now have the impossible choice. Either they can vote for a Republican that has presided over one of the worst fiscal disasters the city has witnessed in modern times; or they can come back to Keehn Kountry, the mayoral administration that came precariously close to doubling the ongoing fiscal woes.

Chances are a number of voters will decide to stay home, rather than vote for either of these milquetoast candidates. Then it’s a toss up to see which candidate can get people to the polls. In this case, the advantage would likely swing toward Keehn, whose somewhat rabid followers have proven that can turn out in droves.

Adding insult to injury are the other ‘races.’ Rather than find a decent candidate for the Public Safety commissioner’s seat, the Republicans rolled out ol’ Richard Wirth, the guy who was beat like a gong by a stammering, yammering dolt that has only remained in office by being a union shill. In the Public Works race, it doesn’t sound like the Dems will challenge GOP incumbent Skip Scirocco, another guy who likes to nuzzle up with the union bosses. And why would they? He was the torpedo Keehn used to sink the unsinkable political juggernaut of Tom McTygue and has been a strident ally of the aforementioned dolt.

In the Accounts Commissioner race, it appears as though the Change-o-crats will hold onto John Franck, who was formerly on the outs with the party as a McTygue sympathizer. But they need to keep Franck on the ballot as a concession to the moderates of the party. Otherwise they might question why the party is waging a primary against one Democratic candidate, while not producing a challenger to the Republicans in another council race.

The end result is that only one newcomer is running for office. Democrat Peter Martin will challenge Finance Commissioner Ken Ivins, bringing the only new face into the fold. All other races will be challenged by former party picks or unchallenged altogether.

Egad. Now that’s democracy American-style!

But sometimes it takes a stroll through the darkest of shadows to see the shining beacon of light. And in city politics, that light could be emanating from a palatial home built on the banks of Lake Lonely.

Today, iSaratoga has sent a correspondence to Jimmy Sexton, the agent for Miami Dolphins’ Executive Vice President Bill Parcells, inquiring whether the Super Bowl winning coach might be interested in a run for the mayor’s office. That’s right, the Big Tuna as mayor of the Spa City. He’s a part-time city resident. He’s a consummate leader. Heck, he’s even got a bad-ass nickname. Who better to lead Saratoga through the new century?

Now some might say a ranking executive for one of the NFL’s most prestigious franchises would be hard pressed to find even a passing interest in local politics. But consider this: Parcells is living under the shadow of Dolphins’ legend Don Shula, who ESPN even ranked as a better all-time coach than the Tuna. That can’t sit well. Then consider the fact that Shula also just opened a restaurant downtown, which in no uncertain terms is Tuna territory. He was here first, and by wining the mayor’s seat, Parcells can put Shula in his place once and for all.

So get the word out. The Tuna’s coming to a ballot near you. Thinking positively about his candidacy is really the only way to go at this point, especially considering the alternatives. And if he’s not interested in a run, perhaps Saratogians could show their celebrity resident a bit of good will by penning his name in as a write-in. But let’s first see where he stands as a bona fide candidate to challenge the dregs of the political barrel the major parties are trying to proffer as competent leaders.

29 Comments:

Blogger george said...

Crossroads 2009
More than any time in history this city faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Val Keehn for mayor

Making nothing happen very slowly

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great scoop!
I think Ms. Keehn will actually win the mayoral race quite easily.
She appeals to Republicans and Democrates. I am actually interested to see her govern without the having to deal with Tommy Mctygue all the time. I would assume John Franck will be more civilized as the Dems do the "why can't we be friends" election season mating call! Is this a safe prediction
Keehn-mayor D
Martin-finance D
Franck- Accounts D
Scirocco- DPW R
Kim- Public safety D

Veitch County Sup R
Yepsen " D

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

rumors abound that Kim will run for Mayor.

11:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh my God!!
The "Tuna" eats more idiots for breakfast, than the ones who appear at our local council table.

Nice try HO, but he has more important things to do than be here two Tuesdays a month.

I believe that Shula's restaurant is quite a few months away from being open yet, unless I am mistaken.

2:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, they named a deadbeat parent/wife abusing/protective order toting guy who's had suspended jail sentences imposed on him just to make him support his kids ... and we were expecting ... pretty much the endorsement of those who testified against him according to the Gazette.
What a wiener!!

6:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This political season is going to be all about anti, anti-Johnson, anti-Ivins, anti-Franck, anti-Republicans. The movement is growing across both party lines.

3:09 AM  
Anonymous Mr.Sarcasm said...

It's the end of the world as we know it. GOD HELP US ALL!

3:59 AM  
Blogger Horatio Alger said...

George,

Been there, done that, passed on the T-shirt, because the only memorable thing about the Keehn Administration was the smugly defiant looks they gave after lighting fire to the Democratic Party. No thanks, I'd rather vote for an inanimate carbon rod. Or Bill Parcells as the case may have it.

10:55,

I'm really hoping a third party makes a showing. I'd vote for just about anyone but the candidates running for mayor and Public Safety. Frankly, I'm feeling a deep-seeded hatred toward both parties for running the hacks that they are. My slate of candidates for 2009 goes as follows: TUNA. Period. If we're going to elect hacks, at least let's make sure they've got a Super Bowl trophy somewhere on their mantle.

11:20,

I've certainly heard the song and dance about Ron Kim, and I think if Keehn mysteriously ducks the mayoral endorsement, you'll see him run for it. But right now, he would be a big risk to run against Johnson...bigger, dare I say, than Keehn. Mind you, the same disgruntled Dems that held their noses to vote for Johnson because they didn't like Keehn, couldn't fathom doing the same for a guy like Wirth. So if you look at the 2007 results, you'll find they either didn't pull a lever at all, or they held their noses and pulled it for Kim. As one of his most strident critics, even I can see how well Kim will do against a candidate like Wirth, who amounts to the same ol' same ol' in most voters minds(i.e. go with the devil you know...).

2:37,

Tuna wouldn't have to be here! That's the beauty of it all. Hell, he could show up in the summer, vote for several months and then head back to Miami. There's nothing in state law that says a candidate must make 'X' amount of meetings, or spend 'Y' amount of time in office. Most officials realize they have to work for their positions, so they feel compelled to cut ribbons, make announcements, show up at meetings, et cetera. I'd make an exception for the Tuna, who could show up once every other month and still be ahead of the clowns now running for office.

6:13,

Quit speaking in platitudes. Get to the point.

3:09,

Riddle me this: why Franck? To the best of my recollection, he's the only guy that has been a bit of a success story in the council this past year. He's taken Breyo to task for his mansion and just got an Appellate Court decision in his favor. He held the line on reassessing the city -a move Val Keehn was really pushing to please her state cronies -and prevented thousands of homes from being overassessed before the bubble burst.

And if you're going to be 'anti' about people in the council, let's not leave Ron Kim's name off the list. This is a guy who wanted to saddle us with a $30 million PS building and was only stopped because his sole council ally(Keehn) was voted out of office. Since that time, he's produced the 'failureometer'(with city tax dollars mind you), and has presided over the largest boost in city police overtime IN HISTORY. To me, these are compelling reasons to be 'anti' about someone.

I'll further this thought by saying being anti-Keehn -or pro-Keehn -is not a compelling reason to vote someone out of office, unless that someone is Keehn herself. I'll also say, there's not much that will be moving across party lines this year. If the slate of candidates remains as-is, it will be a matter of seeing who can get their party out to vote. Swaying the centrists or getting people to cross party lines will not win this election as it stands now, because a good deal of people will simply stay home. That could all change with the emergence of a third party.

Mr. Sarcasm,

There are plenty of innings to be played in this ball game. Let's see what the playing field looks like come July.

5:40 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Sarcasm said...

Wow. A third party. I would be interested if not for the same players there on the independents. Hank Kuzciski or Boyd. How fortunate! Now Parcells, that's interesting. You're right I guess July will be the time to see who is out there.

9:38 AM  
Blogger Horatio Alger said...

Mr. Sarcasm,

Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating for either of those guys. I think both have shown they're unable to motivate their collective constituents to the polls, which is strike one and two in my book. And that's before you get into the fact that both would be virulently attacked by Dems and Republicans alike.

No, I think this city needs a fresh face in office, and not one beholden to the failed politics the Democrats and GOP continue to propagate. This city's political process is and has been hijacked by a select few, and if voters don't do something about it soon, this city is in for a rude awakening.

10:06 AM  
Anonymous Saratoga Citizen said...

It’s time to regroup.

We are hoping that the voting population of the city will see clear to readdress the idea of reforming this city government in the near future.

Reshaping the City's operations into a more effective, less combative, and more efficient form of government that will serve all involved is essential.
We all need to position Saratoga Springs government for a bright future

While no city government is perfect, our Commission Form continues to prove how ineffective it is for Saratoga Springs.
A more sophisticated approach will allow Saratoga Springs to perform in today’s complex times.
It is quite clear that we are in for some difficult times ahead and we will need a more cohesive and effective operation to maintain our position in the region.

During the last "shouting match" regarding charter change very little was accomplished in addressing the future needs of the city.
It was just a shouting match!
Lets not go that way again.
There will be no cries of rush job or powerplay!

We hope with a more reasonable approach and adequate education we can select a form of government that will improve our functionality and rid us all of the negativity that breeds lack luster performances.
We continue to keep repeating the mistakes we have made in the past and believe we will see improvements. (example 5 mayors in ten years)

We will be introducing “The Saratoga Citizen” on June 15th --an online educational tool to help the average citizen get some basic information regarding our city’s operation and current charter. from there we will continue to supply updates and new material for review on a regular basis.

There will be NO blogs, just fact based answers to frequently asked questions.
We will introduce a step-by-step process for avergae citizens to get an basic understanding of our local laws and how we are currently operating within the State of NY and within the Commission Form of government.

We will also introduce cross sections of different governmental options and how they would look within the structure of Saratoga Springs.

Open and honest is the goal. We seek no political party endorsements or governmental support.

We all love this city and hope to host a healthy dialog that will selcta reasonable solution in the near future.

Albert Einstein once said “ Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results”

More information will be coming soon.

Thank you

10:30 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So maybe a new government altogether is not such a bad idea?
Let's do it!

1:18 PM  
Anonymous Mr. Sarcasm said...

There are just so many people lining up for the job. With the great salary and all. How about someone who worked their whole life for a small wage because he or she was never motivated by the almighty dollar. Someone who spent their life for the better good and for the love of their city their home. That someone is out there. That someone is ............

2:55 PM  
Blogger gerard hawthorne said...

That Someone is ........Jahvitz Blanton?

5:37 PM  
Blogger gerard hawthorne said...

How about Pat Kane ?

4:26 AM  
Blogger george said...

To Saratoga Citizen it is so nice to see there is a group trying to make our City Government as efficient as Albany and Schenectady. MAYBE SOMEDAY WE CAN BE JUST AS PROUD AS THEY ARE OF OUR Police, fire dept and DPW. Just to imagine that Broadway could look as beautiful as State St in Schenectady is just too much to hope for.

6:23 AM  
Anonymous Jimmy Olsen, cub reporter said...

Mr Saratoga Citizen...

Wasn't there a News Portal by that same name a couple years back?

Unless you were the person who ran that site----you'd better get a different name.

Just to be fair to that person.

7:52 AM  
Anonymous President: Saratoga Chapter of The Crips said...

and also:

Rumor has it that Coldplay canceled their SPAC show because they read the quotes by Ron Kim about what a lawless city we were with such an under-staffed police and emergency force.

They wouldn't dare step foot into this Wild West outpost....

7:56 AM  
Blogger muldoonmedia said...

quote of the day

"I don't agree with what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it."
Voltaire

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, it's so dangerous on our streets that people leave their doors unlocked to make it easier for all the criminals to get inside.

10:40 AM  
Blogger gerard hawthorne said...

How about Gina Lolabridgida?

5:45 PM  
Blogger gerard hawthorne said...

Or maybe Foghorn Leghorn. I say I say I say.

5:48 PM  
Anonymous Mr. Sarcasm said...

No ! No! No! The answer is in the sauce. It's the one and only ...........

4:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Horatio:

From 6:13:

Yespen will be endorsed, she is our County Supervisor. She will receive that nomination by a committee led by a deadbeat parent, one in arrears in the past and present, with suspended jail sentences, with protective orders against both past and present. According to the Gazette, both Keehn and Thompson testified against him in a child support hearing. Why, why, why? Where are our morals, ethics. Where are people's priorities, or, assuming those are good, their voice. Why would Yespsen say nothing about the deadbeat as nominating chair? Thomson? Keehn? Bulman ... yah, he KNOWS. Anyone whose read the papers over the past years knows.

Yepsen - child support is a county issue - it's also court mandated. Bucking court orders ... and you're silent. Child support is a county issue.

9:54 AM  
Anonymous Mr.Sarcasm said...

........... RON KIM!

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Mr. Sarcasm said...

9:54 - your story telling ability is top shelf. At you at the point yet that it is hard to recognize fantasy from reality? No I'm not being sarcastic. I mean it. Really.

9:26 AM  
Anonymous Dreaming of Val's Return said...

9:54?

I don't get the connection you're making?

I don't believe that Mrs Yepsen is any sort of ally of that loonie bird Tulin, is she?

She's eyed suspiciously by the hardcore Keehniacs / Kimiacs.

After all, if they can't control the power of the party, whoever does is their enemy.

Yepsen hold the most power at this stage of the game.

I just wish she would use it -- and bitch slap these glassy eyed cult members around a bit.

10:44 AM  
Anonymous Mr. Sarcasm said...

Yepsen is the democratic voice? No wonder they're in trouble. I have attended meetings with her there and believe she is clueless. Another joker trying to attach their name to something.

If you can't get the connection then you are just a loser. You can dream of Val's return but that ship has sailed. Or has it sunk?

2:42 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Parcels only associates with winners. Saratoga is a city of losers, just look at the comments on this site...all losers. This is the same city that elected Tom Mctygue time after time....losers electing a loser. Solve the city budget problems and force that loser to pay back the money he stole for 24 years...problem solved!

6:18 PM  

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