Legislate this

Members of the state Senate seem to have a lot of time on their hands these days. With the booming upstate economy and the state Legislature running like a fine-oiled machine, what is left for a bored senator to do other than pick up a pen and draft a new piece of worthless legislation onto the already cumbersome annals of New York’s laws?

This at least must have been the thought process going through the unconscionably thick skull of Neil Breslin when he decided to tackle the new frontier of vehicle traffic code. The Democratic state senator from Albany proposed a ban on texting while driving during the last legislative session and now has the bi-partisan support of Republican Sen. James Alesi of Rochester. Any driver busted for DWT could face up to $100 penalty, according to Breslin’s law.

Even though the sum total intelligence quotient of these two legislators might not eclipse the dollar amount of the fine, the legislation is likely to hit the floor for discussion and appears to have some support in the other house. This is despite the fact that there exist sparsely few methods for proving beyond a reasonable doubt that someone is texting while driving.

Now, it should be noted that attempting to send such a digital missive while hauling ass down the Northway is generally regarded as an unsafe practice. Most drivers with half a brain realize the difficulty in forming cohesive text and fumbling with buttons smaller than the standard human digit while trying to control a metric ton of metal, glass and rubber down New York’s asphalt jungles.

Yet still, there are some cases where this difficulty simply doesn’t register. Take for instance the horrific wreck in June, when a gaggle of high school cheerleaders perished after their Chevy Trailblazer crossed into the path of a hurtling tractor-trailer truck in the rural town of East Bloomfield. Police investigators later determined the teenage driver sent and received a spate of text messages as she sped toward a rendezvous in the Finger Lakes region.

Though tragic, this accident was more a result of the laws of social Darwinism and not the product of a lacking vehicle traffic code. Simply put, it’s not too bright to be taking one’s eyes off the road for any reason, much less to send a semi-legible message like “gtg…ttyl” to someone’s cell phone at a whim. As cruel as it may sound, life sometimes has a way of selectively removing such bizarre behavior from the gene pool.

But Breslin and Alesi don’t have time for nature to take its course, nor do they have faith in society itself to curb such practices. These senators wrongly believe a new state law might convince a giddy teenager it’s not a good idea to use the communication medium while swerving wildly through traffic. Mom, dad and Mr. Rinko would probably have more luck teaching junior to keep his eyes on the road than he state’s doltish legislators would through their ill-conceived legislation.

Chances are pretty good such a law would have a similar effect as the farcical cell phone law put in place six years ago. In fact, there are some who prefer texting because it can be done in the hidden confines of their laps and not out in the open, where some bored traffic cop might make a stink about it. These cases get heaped on top of the hundreds of thousands of minor infractions that chock local courts each week. Another law governing DWT would surely serve to further tax an already burdened court system.

Meanwhile, there’s gang warfare on the streets of Albany and Rochester just made this list as one of the most dangerous cities in the United States. The economy in both cities closely mirrors the economy of the upstate region, which many fault as a leading contributor to the failing economy of the state overall. Surely, Breslin and Alesi would love to hear how voters would prefer to solve the driving while texting dilemma instead of addressing the crippled state of upstate’s city centers.

There are some serious problems out there folks, but not the ones legislators of Breslin’s and Alesi’s ilk will try to tackle; these things take way too much time. Instead, they’ll draft their futile quick-hit legislation, put an added weight on the state’s gridlocked court system and then chortle about it over a snifter of expensive brandy. Welcome to the Land of the Legislature, where solving New York’s problems are just one pen stroke away. Please leave your last tattered sense of reason on the doorstep outside. You won’t be needing such things here.