Endorse this

After more than 10 months of vitriolic jabber and finger pointing, the election is finally upon us. Initially, the stance of i-Saratoga was to make no endorsements whatsoever, being that this semi-daily diatribe is anything but supportive of politicians.

However in an 11th hour decission, the blog’s Board of Directors ruled in favor of changing this stance after several milquetoast semi-endorsements dripped from the chum bucket of the local press this week. These are just a few suggestions to consider before haphazardly voting along party lines or for the incumbents when you step into the voting booth today. Remember to bring a friend and a six-pack or a friend’s six-pack and get out to vote. So without further adieu, please take in the first-ever i-Saratoga-endorsments for this year’s city elections:

Mayor: Dale Easter. At first blush, it might not seem like a great idea to give the reins of government to a handlebar mustache wearing cowboy from Prince Edward Island who rolled into the city with a bunch of motorcycle-riding hippies back in the day. Often times, Easter’s gang of societal subversives is credited with the bourbon brawling revitalization of Caroline Street, which is sort of a dubious accomplishment in and of itself.

Yet the former owner of Professor Moriarity’s remains the quintessential Saratoga Springs resident. He’s rough on the edges and politically savvy on the inside. He’s a social Democrat with a deeply hardened fiscal conservative crust, thanks to more than three decades in the restaurant business. Those who knew Easter in business also know his propensity for pinching pennies, a quality that would be a welcome addition as the city considers the horrific $63 million slate of projects proposed by incumbent mayor Valerie Keehn. And given his extreme propensity for inaudible mumbling, he’d add an element of chance to spice up local news reporting.

Finance Commissioner: Matt McCabe. Sure, he says he’s not running for re-election. But he’ll change his tune after being shackled to the finance desk for a few weeks with some moldy bread and gruel. Oh, he’ll change his tune alright. Seriously, McCabe came to city hall a quiet musician from Caroline Street with little precedent for running the city finances. During his first years, he wasn’t very vocal on the council and seemed to get splinters from sitting too long on the proverbial fence of city politics.

Recently, however, McCabe’s fierce independence from partisan politics has served as the only voice of reason amid petty council infighting. When the new police station balloon was floated up, McCabe smartly shot it down by calling it out for what it was: too expensive. Perhaps his only fault is his modesty. While Keehn has blustered on and on about how she secured the city’s $3.8 million of VLT revenues, it was McCabe who first brought up the fact that they weren’t a given in the first place. Were it not for his insight on the issue, the funding would have become an oversight.

Public Safety Commissioner: Erin Dreyer. Who could resist bringing the blond bombshell back for two more years of skullduggery? True, she has absolutely no qualifications for the job and nearly shredded the department on her last go round. But this is politics, baby. This is the freak circus sideshow on crack, its denizens from the deepest circles of the inferno. Bringing back Public Safety’s prodigal whore would be a perfect way to punctuate this fact.

The main idea of having Dreyer in office would be to once again remove politics from police work. Now, some may think it’s odd to add Dreyer’s combative brand of civics into a mix that already includes the political predilictions of Police Chief Ed Moore, the only active-duty cop in recent memory to stump with two incumbent politicians. But when you consider physicians give Ritalin to hyperactive children, tossing the wolverine-like Dryer into a cage with Moore doesn’t seem like a bad idea. Perhaps with two more years of needling, he’d take a run at throttling his nemesis. After all, the city wouldn’t need to pay his treasure trove of benefits if he was in jail.

Accounts Commissioner: Dennis Brunelle. While it is admirable that incumbent Commissioner John Franck has held the line on reassessing the city at a time when the local housing market is witnessing an 11 percent dip, it would be nice to have someone in government that keenly understands the problems caused by overinflated property values. What better person than the guy who’s headed the Saratoga County Economic Opportunity Council and been a member of the Workforce Housing Partnership.

Brunelle’s one drawback is that he’s a supporter of Keehn, a wind-bagging mayor who saw no problem with blatantly welshing on her campaign promise to augment the city’s affordable housing stock. As some may recall, Brunelle glowingly introduced Keehn during her state of the city address last winter and has yet to hold the mayor’s feet to the fire on this matter. Regardless, his input on the council would at least provide a much needed voice for those in the city who almost always lack one.

Public Works Commissioner: Tom Qualtere. In this race, it was a tossup between the go-getting co-president of the Skidmore Young Republicans and the man inauspiciously known as “Vinnie the Cleaner” from Gaffney’s. But in the end, the endorsement must go to Qualtere. The idea of a Skidmore Republican ordering around a blue collar workforce dominated by old school Democrats is simply too precious to pass up.

Not to mention, the DPW could use some fresh blood after more than three decades of Tom McTygue. And there’s little doubt Qualtere would have his blood spilled shortly after barking his first orders at the city road crews. Still, this endorsement can’t go without mention of Vinnie, the rumpled and somewhat recalcitrant Caroline Street dweller who sees enough through his coke bottle glass to somehow scrub away the vomit stains left by folks of Qualtere’s ilk. You make Saratoga sparkle, Vinnie. Keep up the good work.

City Supervisors: Ed Dague. While it’s not clear if his Saratoga Lake home is inside the city limits, the retired WNYT anchor and Times Union blogger has the right attitude for supervisor. Anyone with the chutzpa to threaten and berate the region’s most useless band of keystone kops is the right man for the job. The Board of Supervisors needs a voice of reason that is going to call the Saratoga County Sheriff’s Department for what it is: an overpaid gang of traffic cops that do more to harass motorists than prevent crime. And this sort of input –even if it’s threatening in nature –could be used on the board as Sheriff and tax-dollar drain Jim Bowen argues for an eye popping nine additional deputies for his already over-extended force.

And for the other seat, Bill Parcells. Again, it’s unclear if the Big Tuna actually spends enough time in the Spa City to hold elected office. Yet he owns a lot of property here and is rich well beyond eight decimals, which is all candidates need these days to throw their name in the hat. So what would the former NFL coach bring to the Supervisors? Well, he’d bring one hell of a name, that’s for sure. Parcells could throw his weight around like LT on the gridiron with an eight-ball on board. After all, who would go against the vote of a guy swinging club fists with two Super Bowl rings tucked on the knuckles? Look out, James Lawler. Big Tuna says no to the county water plan.